Monday, January 21, 2013

How Do I Spell Relief?

C.H.I.R.O.P.R.A.C.T.O.R.


I love a good adjustment.  A perfectly aligned spine is a beautiful thing, and my spine has been anything but perfectly aligned for some time now.  I'd go to the chiropractor every week if I could afford it, but since I can't I usually wait until I am in enough pain that I'm willing to crack open the wallet and pay for some relief.  Phenomia was my breaking point.  Or maybe it was the bouncing feral five year olds.  Or that for the last week every time the washing machine hits the spin cycle the mobile shakes and vibrates like we are in a train car about to be derailed. But I could feel the sickness and tension right in the middle of my back as though the infection from my lungs had crossed over.  It was dragging me down and making me....cranky. 

My Man drove me into town today so that I could get my blood drawn to recheck my white blood cell count.  Based on how I'm feeling I'm betting that it is better than it was last week but still not down to what it should be.  While we were in town I went and saw a chiropractor.  I don't call her my chiropractor because this is only the second time I've been to her and she's not my old chiropractor.  Dr. John was my old chiropractor and he was the man.  A short, peppy, forty-something year old who was gray beyond his years and could put a glowing smile on my face and make me feel twenty years old again without me even having to take my pants off.  Truly, he was gifted.  I always left his office feeling a little bit like Sally from When Harry Met Sally in the famous restaurant scene....and if you saw me after I left his office you'd think....I want one of what she's having.

He kind of ruined things for me, because I know there will never be another of him.  Anyone else will always be second.  They will never be the man, and I will never consider them mine.  They'll just be another bone crusher who could have been as good as Dr. John but never will be.  That's this chick that I went to today.  She's not even second, really.  More like third, or fourth.  It doesn't help matters that on her website, which is really a wordpress blog, that she has a picture of herself that she took.  I don't know.  It's probably not fair to hold that against her, but every time I see it I think of a single dating service profile.  Like she's just lonely and looking for love and doesn't have a good enough friend to take a picture of her for her business website/blog.  And then I always wonder if maybe it is her single profile picture and she's dual purposing it?  Not fair, I know, but these are the thoughts that I have.

So, I laid on her table, despite her cheesy self portrait, and she did her thing and I felt better.  Much better, really.  Right away I could feel a release and then the return of circulation.  It even made me a little light headed, but it didn't leave me all tingly and glowy or feeling twenty something and so I just missed Dr. John all the more as I picked myself up off the table and gathered my things. 

I stood at her counter while she slid my debit card through the reader and I looked out the window waiting for the sky to turn a deeper shade of blue and instead all I got was a sign here, please.  It made me wonder if Dr. John misses me as much as I miss him.  I'm pretty sure he does, because last October I got a post card from him for my birthday with a coupon for a free visit.  Surely that must mean something, doesn't it?  I don't think that he's sending preprinted birthday cards to all the girls.